Everything is fucked
API   Broken
69 days ago
00.01 % uptime
Today
Gateway   Broken
69 days ago
00.01 % uptime
Today
CockFlare   ? Broken
Media Proxy Blocker   ? Broken
69 days ago
This is always fucked
Today
Voice Broken
EU West   Broken
EU Central   Broken
Singapore   Broken
Sydney   Broken
US Central   Broken
US East   Broken
US South   Broken
US West   Broken
Brazil   Broken
Hong Kong   Broken
Russia   Broken
Japan   Broken
Broken
Degraded Performance
Partial Outage
Major Outage
Maintenance
API No-Response Time
6900ms
Created with Highstock 1.3.118:0021:0022. Jul03:0006:0009:0012:0015:000100200300
Piss log
Jul 22, 2069

We are planning to have some uptime today.

Jul 21, 2069

Offline for the whole day

Jul 20, 2069

Offline for the whole day

Jul 19, 2069

Offline for the whole day

Jul 18, 2069

Offline for the whole day

Jul 17, 2069
Resolved - This incident is apparently fixed but lets be honest it'll happen again tomorrow.
Jul 17, 69:69 STD
Monitoring - Looking at all the furry nudes posted on our lovely platform.
Jul 17, 13:00 STD
New platform - We moved from GCP to this.
Jul 17, 12:39 STD
Update - We don't have any updates.
Jul 17, 12:32 STD
Identified - Explained in our tweet here.
Jul 17, 12:27 STD
Investigating - This somehow took 20 minutes to write about while the whole platform is unresponsive so don't expect more news soon.
Jul 17, 12:18 STD
Jul 16, 2069

Offline for the whole day

Jul 15, 2069

Offline for the whole day

Jul 14, 2069

Offline for the whole day

Jul 13, 2069
Resolved - For about 5 minutes
Jul 13, 15:30 STD
Monitoring - I listened to this dank song and it fixed discord
Jul 13, 14:39 STD
Identified - Making more than 2 pings per second broke discords unstable api
Jul 13, 14:28 STD
Jul 12, 2069
Resolved - We're going to do server boosts instead and im sure it will be very successful like all our other 200iq ideas
Jul 12, 14:27 STD
Money - The store made fuck all
Jul 12, 13:35 STD
Update - oh right discord is down probably should do something about all those client mods because thats a higher priority than all the illegal shit that goes on in discord
Jul 12, 13:00 STD
Investigating - At an fbi level
Jul 12, 13:00 STD
Monitoring - We're now watching nobody buy any games from us
Jul 12, 12:39 STD
Fucking - wait what
Jul 12, 12:15 STD
Monitoring - you
Jul 12, 11:26 STD
Investigating - We decided a game store would be a good and very successful idea to make us even more money other than selling your data.
Jul 12, 11:15 STD
Jul 11, 2069
Resolved - Teamspeaks 1990s look vs discord white theme
Jul 11, 07:20 STD
Monitoring - nvm the call dropped
Jul 11, 07:09 STD
Identified - I found my skype login
Jul 11, 07:06 STD
Investigating - It's time to ditch Discord.
Jul 11, 07:03 STD
Jul 10, 2069

Offline for the whole day

Jul 9, 2069

Offline for the whole day

Jul 8, 2069

Offline for the whole day

Original text